


I'll always be with you.

by asterjenjaem



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Nomin AU, Underage Drinking, donghyuck is a cool kid, jaemin is whipped, jeno is in denial, jeno is whipped too but he's a coward, nomin getting together basically, renjun is a bit stressed, they're both dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 09:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17241839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterjenjaem/pseuds/asterjenjaem
Summary: Jeno ignores his feelings for his best friend, Jaemin and convinces himself that he likes Donghyuck instead.





	I'll always be with you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first nomin au so I'm sorry if it's not good :/ anyways, enjoy~

_Jeno sits on the floor, legs crossed and books scattered around him. He twirls his pen, thinking intently before writing something down on his binder._

_“Hey, Jeno, I don’t know how to do this.”_

 

_He hums in response and finishes the problem he’s working on. As he writes the last piece smiling, he tears his eyes away from the paper and turns his head to the side._

_Jeno’s eyes grew two times bigger and maybe his heart a thousand times larger._

_The pretty boy beside him is so close that their noses bump together. He’s staring straight into his eyes and Jeno thinks for a moment if the other is trying to send a message through them._

_“Jeno? You’re still with me?”_

_He scoots away a little bit harsh causing him to fall on his back. Jaemin chuckles at his action before crawling and placing both of his hands beside Jeno, caging him – in his arms, in his scent and perhaps in his entire being._

_“So, what got you so startled?” Jaemin asks innocently but Jeno knew better. He’s teasing him._

_“U-uh…”He gazes his binder that was now in between his legs. “I-I was solving something and-_

_“And you got startled?” The taller tilts his head cutely, letting his bangs fall sideways near his temple. His pink hair suddenly brightens because of the little sunlight that managed to pass through his open window._

 

_Jeno’s heart swells in adoration._

_He groans, “Never mind.”_

_Jaemin smiles fondly. It’s so lovely and charming, just like the owner._

_“Okay.”_

_Neither of them moved and Jeno feels his heart jump in happiness, celebrating._

_He began to feel afraid as well._

 

 

 

“Can you stop?” Donghyuck whipped around, his plaid polo already hanging off his right arm. A frown made its way on his forehead, showing how annoyed he was at the boy not far behind him.

 

“Huh?” Jeno abruptly stopped walking, almost bumping onto Donghyuck’s side.

 

Donghyuck groaned and faced him with a serious face. “Jeno, I don’t really appreciate you tailing after me every morning.”

 

The raven-head gave him a confused look and Donghyuck badly wants to punch his face, except he can’t or he’ll receive one from his large group of friends.

 

“But we’re both going the same way, why can’t we walk toge-

 

“ _We both know_ that’s not it.” He clucked his tongue before continuing, “You’re forcing yourself on me, and I don’t like it.”

 

Slightly taken aback of the response, Jeno blinked a few times as he wonders what the hell is Donghyuck talking about (maybe he actually knows but he’s not going to voice that out). “I don’t quite understand what you mean.”

 

The caramel boy broke out an exasperated sigh. _Seems like he’s not going to admit it but oh well, he asked for it._ “Okay, fine. We’re walking together to History class.” Jeno beams at that but Donghyuck is quick to remind him, “But only to History class. You’re not allowed to walk with me on any class after that, especially at lunch.”

 

Jeno lost his smile and a panic expression spreads on his face. “Why not? I thought we’re cool now.”

 

“We’re cool but we’re not friends.” With that, Donghyuck turned his back to him with a smirk.

 

 

 

 

Lee Donghyuck, the most beautiful boy in campus that everyone admires and at the same time hates. While he’s sporting the perfect tan skin that makes him glow, he’s also kind of an ass. Maybe it’s because he’s a member of the basketball team, but so is Mark and he’s probably the kindest and most reliable person Jeno has ever met in high school; so it’s not that. Some students say he’s a gang member and in order to keep his identity, he isolates himself from everybody else. Rumor has it that he’s actually wealthy and he doesn’t want leaches “befriending” him.

 

Either of those, Jeno doesn’t give two cents. 

 

Jeno can’t remember when he started liking Donghyuck. Maybe back in first semester when the boy entered to their shared class exactly ten minutes after the bell rang, wearing a denim jacket on top of a Levi’s ringer tee matched by black jeans that hugged his long legs perfectly. He didn’t know what came in his mind but he sure did find Donghyuck attractive, like everybody else.

 

Maybe that one time when Donghyuck accidentally knock his binder off his desk and continuing his way to his seat, not bothering an apology. Or maybe when Donghyuck almost stepped on his glasses after it fell to the floor, picking it up was probably the last thing on the boy’s mind.

 

“That’s not nice at all.” One of his friends, Renjun, muttered under his breath when he saw the scene unraveled in front of him. He was sitting behind Jeno that day when Donghyuck walked past their row, holding a test paper with a large flaming F on the top right corner. He seems so unbothered by the fact that he just failed in History and Mrs. Kim, the only terror in their year, is their teacher.

 

Jeno just smiled, not a sad or a disappointed kind of smile though – albeit a dismissing smile (if that exists). “He’s just having a bad day, Renjun.”

 

Before he can pick up his glasses (that’s barely surviving with its half broken frame), Renjun already had it in his hand, giving it to him while shaking his head. He mumbles a ‘thanks’ as he inspects it quickly, making sure it didn’t break entirely or his mom would probably kill him.

 

“Of course he would. He just failed in History, and no one dares to fail in Mrs. Kim’s class.” The shorter guy rolls his eyes. “Also, I would absolutely love it if you stop defending him every time he acts like a dick.” Renjun smiled, rather mockingly before he makes a straight face.

 

Jeno doesn’t mind him. He doesn’t like it when his friends bad-mouth Donghyuck. Turning his head to the spot at the back of the class, he finds the boy of his dreams with his earphones on and his chin resting on top of his palm. He’s looking at nowhere in particular and Jeno wonders if he’s actually awake or daydreaming.

 

When Renjun caught him staring at the “big bad wolf”, he slapped him on his right shoulder and his attention is ripped off of the love of his life (or so he claims).

 

“Let’s go lover boy, class is over.” Renjun said in a monotone voice and that’s only when Jeno realizes that Donghyuck is standing up, grabbing his bag and walking towards the door without looking back.

 

He sighs. “When will he see me, Jun?”

 

The other looked at him with a disgusted expression. “Please don’t say that line ever again, I might actually vomit.”

 

“Why would you vomit, Injun? Stomach ache?”

 

Jeno freezes at the voice. He’s been avoiding him ever since morning and fate isn’t just on his side. It never was and now he has to face it.

 

“Nice seeing you Jaemin.” Renjun smiles and by smile, as in a genuine smile Jeno rarely sees on him. “Please bring your best friend back to his senses, I’m tired.” He slacked his shoulders before picking up his own bag and making a beeline to the door.

 

Now that Jeno faces front again does he notices that they’re the only ones left in the room. He looks up to see his best friend of twelve years, may I repeat, twelve fucking years, looking down on him like he’s the most precious human in this planet.

_Please stop looking at me like that._

 

“W-What’s up, Jaem?” He asks stuttering and how badly he wants to punch himself.

 

Jaemin looks at him weirdly. “Are you okay?”

 

Jeno can feel it. His face has been heating up recently whenever he’s in a situation like this – particularly in a situation like this with his best friend.

 

When he took too long to answer, Jaemin’s hand reached out for his forehead and Jeno may or may not have slapped it away.

 

Jaemin’s expression immediately changes from concern to suspiciousness. “Okay, you’re jumpy, what’s wrong?”

 

Of course he knows if something’s wrong but the thing is, Jeno doesn’t know himself. He have been feeling so nervous and conscious around Jaemin this past few days or weeks or maybe months if you count all those times he felt like running away from the chestnut-haired boy. His stomach twists and turns when the other gets too close to him and goes as far as touching him in places Jeno only let him (or at least used to).

 

And that’s when he finds it strange. He shouldn’t be feeling all these things for his best friend. They’ve been with each other for the past decade and being self-aware is the last thing that comes to his mind when he’s with him. Heck, Jeno even pooped while Jaemin is in the same bathroom because quote “I can’t keep it any longer and you can just shower while I do my business”

 

“Jeno?” Jaemin calls and he snaps back to senses. “You okay, honey?”

 

What. The. Fuck.

 

_Honey?!_

 

Jeno blushes and that should’ve meant something, but as the idiot that he is, he chose to ignore it. “I-I got to go.” And with that he dashes out the room, leaving a certain boy feeling hurt.

 

 

That was the last Jeno had an encounter with Jaemin. He always leaves before the boy gets out of the house even if that means he had to wake up extra early. He have classes with him but Jeno makes sure to never look at his way, resulting  in him having to either listen to the lectures instead or talk to Renjun all throughout the subject. Now he’s the first to get out of the class once the bell rang. Their friends barely see him at their usual table during lunch and he only texts them when needed.

 

“Okay, bitch. What’s up with you?” Renjun asks him one morning in History, the only class that he has with him. Of course, he just had to trap him to get him to talk.

 

Jeno looks up at him before turning to his book to resume reading. Although he’s one of the top students, he was never a bookworm.

 

He hears the other sneer at him, “Fine, suit yourself.”

 

Renjun doesn’t bother talking anything out of him after that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, it’s me again.” Jeno says one afternoon after classes have ended. He leans against the locker, tapping the opened locker next to him. “I was wondering if you would like to go out some time, like in a nearby café or in the library, I mean if you’re not comfortable?”

 

Jeno may have gone a little overboard with this but he really likes Donghyuck and he wants to spend some time to get to know him better. Maybe he just wants to test if those rumors are true. If they’re not and the other turns out to be a real sweetheart, then he could be the living witness of it.

 

Donghyuck doesn’t remember agreeing to this. He only let Jeno walk with him to History class, but here he is now, being asked out by the said guy.

 

Settling his books and throwing a few crumpled papers in his lockers, Donghyuck asked him, “You sure about that?”

 

He slammed his locker closed, making the students passing by jolt in surprise and look at him intimidatingly before walking faster; except for a particular student that seems brave enough to test the waters.

 

_“What the hell crawled up in Lee’s ass early in the morning?”_

Donghyuck snorts at that comment but he pays it no mind, they don’t really mean shit.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” Jeno replied, sounding a bit more confident.

 

Donghyuck shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe some people don’t want you to go out with me?”

 

Confusion written all over his face, Jeno tilted his head to the side. “What?”

 

 _God, he’s so oblivious._ Donghyuck shook his head dismissingly, “Never mind.” _You’re such an idiot. I don’t know what he sees in you._

 

“So?” Jeno says, raising his eyebrows. He hopes Donghyuck doesn’t reject him or this will be the most embarrassing moment in his life. After all, Lee Jeno does not get rejected by anyone.

 

Rubbing his temples as a sigh escapes his mouth, Donghyuck nodded slowly. “Yeah, sure, whatever.” 

 

Jeno grins so wide that Donghyuck gets blinded by his teeth and briefly wonder if he’s a model of a toothpaste brand.

 

He threw a glance – one that could possibly kill – at a freshman who looks at them maliciously. _I swear if this bitch starts something._

 

Turning back to the boy in front him, Donghyuck gave him a pointed look – a warning perhaps. “Saturday, Buzz Café, 1pm. Don’t be late because I’m not really fond of waiting.”

 

Perhaps Jeno was quite astounded at Donghyuck’s boldness, but he was happy nonetheless.

 

At a distance, a pair of doe eyes look at him, pain plastered on his face. He smiles sadly before turning back around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _I actually managed to ask him out._ Not even bothering to change into normal clothes, Jeno had laid down on his bed, arms and leg sprawled that oddly made him look like a starfish. He still hasn’t got over the fact that he gathered the courage to ask his crush on a date and another fact, that Donghyuck isn’t even the least surprised. Jeno’s not the one to brag but quite honestly, anyone who gets to be asked by The Lee Jeno would definitely dropped to their knees (at the least).

 

_Maybe he gets asked out on regularly._

 

_Oh._

 

If that’s the case then Jeno isn’t the first to do so. Donghyuck may have been shocked by the first time, second and third guy or girl (whatever he prefers because Jeno doesn’t really know if he swings that way or the other). But as soon as it grows, it didn’t matter to him anymore. Maybe he got used to it and considers it a norm.

 

Jeno sighs. He shouldn’t be overthinking (sad thoughts at that too) now that he already got the chance.

 

As if to snap him out of his dejection, his phone rang on his bedside table. He sits up and looks at it momentarily before deciding to pick it up. It might be important. It could be Donghyuck. But then again he didn’t gave the boy his number or he didn’t get his (a fucking idiot, really) and Donghyuck doesn’t seem the type to ask around for a certain guy’s number, especially his (because Jeno is annoying according to the tanned boy himself).

 

Another sigh of despair.

 

One look at the screen and he knows what’s up. “What?” he asked that sounded more like a statement than a question.

 

“So a little birdie told me that you scored a date with the big bad wolf.” The other line replied mockingly. Jeno can hear his snicker from miles away.

 

He wrinkled his nose at the remark. “And so you heard. Now, tell me who the fucking birdie is so I can kill it.”

 

Renjun laughed wholeheartedly and he doesn’t even find that funny at all. What the fuck. “Oh please, you wouldn’t even have the _soul_ to kill the birdie. Also, it’s a _he_.”

 

Jeno didn’t speak for a while as he thinks who could have known that he asked Donghyuck out. He doesn’t mind it usually – on whoever decides to snoop into his business, like his dating matter – but something tells him he _needs_ to know.

 

“Jun, who is it?” His voice kind of threatening but this is Huang Renjun he’s speaking to so his message didn’t probably reach the other.

 

Renjun scoffed, “Why would I tell you? _You don’t even care about him_.” There was a silence, not deafening so Jeno knows he didn’t hung up on him. He was about to ask again (because he’s really persistent to know) but Renjun beats him to it. “It doesn’t matter, okay? What matters is that you’re going out with your not-so-long-but-decided-to-take-on-a-date crush.”

 

“Don’t push it, Renjun.” He replied with gritted teeth, popping his buttons open.

 

There was a laugh on the other line but somehow it didn’t sound like his friend. “Does Mark know?”

 

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, standing up to slowly remove his uniform off his shoulder. “Why would I tell him?” He contemplates for a second, “Wait, why does he have to know?”

 

 _Okay, now this is weird._ First of all, he and Mark aren’t even close. Sure, they did train in the basketball team for a few months in freshman year before Jeno resolute to quitting (he didn’t like basketball, he was pressured okay?). Though the older helped him out a lot during his stay, they didn’t hang out outside the field at all. Second, what does Mark have to do with his date?

 

It doesn’t make sense to him at all.

 

But

 

Maybe to… Donghyuck?

 

“I can literally hear your thoughts, Jeno. You’re a loud thinker.” Renjun says as he broke out of his trance. “Don’t even think of asking Mark or I’m going to kill you.”

 

“But why?” Jeno whines and he swears his arm hairs stood up, maybe Renjun’s did too.

 

“Disgusting.” Renjun made a choking sound and oh my god, Jeno’s not hearing things because there’s another laugh from the other line that didn’t sound like him.

 

“Bitch, who’re you with?” He asked suspiciously. “And don’t even think of lying, that doesn’t sound like Jisung or Chenle or…” He’s aware his voice trailed off but he can’t seem to say _his name_.

 

There’s tapping of fingers – pondering whether to leave Jeno on his own – but Jeno doesn’t want to because he’ll probably confuse himself more. But Renjun doesn’t handle other people’s bullshit problems so he crashed Jeno’s hope.

 

“I know why you can’t but you have to figure this out by yourself.”

 

And then there’s beeping sounds.

 

Jeno throws his phone behind him; it could have landed on the other side if it wasn’t for his almost king-sized bed. He placed his elbows on top of his thighs with his face in his hands, kicking his uniform that had dropped on the floor earlier.

 

Annoyed. He’s feeling annoyed right now. Maybe at Renjun for being so vague, maybe at himself for feeling like this or maybe even at Jaemin for _making him feel like this_.

 

Even just the name is enough to send a _lightning_ in his stomach. He’s afraid to figure this out – to take time to think about all of this – and finding out in the end that it’s Jaemin. He’s frightened that _his end is his best friend all along._

 

 

 

_Jeno walks out of the shower room, rubbing a small towel around his head to get his hair dry. When he reached the part near his nape, a muscle from his arm seems to tighten and he immediately stopped his action, halting from walking as well. His face scrunched into a pained expression and his other hand went to hold the railing beside him. Their training was a lot heavier and intense than usual since the regionals are nearing and Jeno is lucky to be part of the new lineup, but of course, it comes with the price._

_His mom had warned him that it would take a lot of his time and energy when he started basketball but he was determined to get in, especially when the team’s coach saw his potential and convinced him to join, Jeno isn’t one to pass up such opportunity. So here he was, having a mini cramps, not a single living soul around to help him._

_He slides down on the wall nearby, slowly as possible as he brings his injured arm down with his hand. When he successfully placed it on his side without making it worse, he lets go of the towel he was holding and took a few breaths. If there was one thing he regrets right now, is that time he didn’t listen where they were being taught how to handle muscle cramps. Just as he was about to reach for his phone in his bag to call the one and only person (ever), a voice yells his name instead._

_“Jeno!”_

_With a slow turn of his head to the direction where the voice came from, that Jeno knew that he’s going to be okay. He’s not going to die (as exaggerating as it may sound)._

_“Jaemin…” He whispers, a tear escaping from his eye because it hurts so much. Just when his rescue arrived that the pain decided it’s the best time to worsen. His bicep is so close to swelling now (not really but he feels like it) and all he wants is to go home._

_The boy reached out to him and instantly dropped on his knees; worry clear on his face as he takes in Jeno’s current state._

_His eyebrow crinkle and Jeno just sobs more. “What happened? Oh my god, we need to get you to the hospital. I’m calling your mo-_

_Jeno, with all his remaining strength, puts an effort to hold the other’s arm to stop him. He shakes his head, “No, don’t. She’ll get worried and won’t let me play anymore.”_

_Jaemin gave him a disbelief look but concern is still evident, “Do you really care about basketball right now?”_

_Jeno wasn’t able to reply instead he whines and sobs more and more._

_Jaemin drops his phone and helps him to lie down. He has zero knowledge on how to relieve cramps and since he never experienced it before, he doesn’t know how it feels to be in that condition so he doesn’t know what’s uncomfortable to what not._

_He accidentally pulls and Jeno almost screams, frustration written all over his face. Jaemin quickly apologizes as his best friend successfully lies down. He took of his cardigan and spreads it on the floor before placing Jeno’s head back on top of it._

_“Fuck. Jeno, I don’t know how to treat this.” Jaemin grabs a handful of his own hair as he panics. If something bad happens to Jeno, he’s seriously going to kill himself._

_Putting his hand on the other’s hand, Jaemin strokes it lightly – so light like a feather touch. “O-okay, I’m just going to massage your arm, is that alright?”_

_Jeno doesn’t even answer and at this point, he thinks he just might pass out. He nods surely and soon, he can feel soft skin kneading his biceps, carefully and watchful, pressing on little parts that Jeno doesn’t know actually hurts until fingers was pressed on them. It’s starting to feel nice and comforting. There’s now two hands working and the pain got replaced by easiness. His arm relaxes and his breaths aren’t as ragged anymore. A few more touches and he’s already feeling light-headed. For a fleeting moment, he thought he’s on cloud nine until his brought back to reality._

_“Jeno, hey.” He doesn’t notice he had his eyes closed the entire time and when he opens them, an angel miraculously appeared in front of him._

_He sighs because the angel’s face is so close to him and that the need to touch his soft cheeks is so irresistible._

_The ministrations didn’t stop and Jeno felt like he was drugged somehow. “Hey, you’re still with me?”_

_That’s when he knew that the face he’s seeing is no angel (at least not an actual one) but his best friend instead. His best friend that has a heart of gold – a heart that no one can rival. His hobby of giving endless presents to the children at the orphanage. Summer vacations spent to the other side of town to do volunteering and charities. He’s always there for his family and friends every time they need him._

_And he’s always there for Jeno, just like now._

_Not long after his arm had calmed down, his chest tightens and his eyes widen because it’s not pain he’s feeling. His heart is beating so fast as he stares at every feature on Jaemin’s face._

_His wide forehead that got covered by little strands of his hair that he haven’t had the time to trim yet; his doe eyes that hold the prettiest stars, adorned by his long and thin lashes that reaches his cheeks when he looks down; his soft nose that Jeno often touches with his own; his lips, oh his glossy and plump lips that shines when it gets stricken by light (Jaemin used to never apply lip balm because he’s stubborn that way, but Jeno’s not complaining) and it’s so inviting - maybe it always has been but Jeno didn’t give it a thought before._

_They sat there for a while, for a few minutes that turned to hours – just staring into one another, perhaps. Jeno doesn’t remember how it ended, at least not how he wanted it to end – like his lips on top of Jaemin’s or his arms around the other’s frame, but he remembers one scene vividly:_

_Shoulder to shoulder. Their bodies next to each other while the cardigan supports another head as the two boys laugh about the most random things._

 

 

When Jeno went to their school’s dance room the next day in hopes of going home with Jisung, he happens to overhear his conversation with someone – someone that Jeno has been avoiding like the plague for three days now.

 

He whistles as he walks through the empty hallway as classes were dismissed an hour ago. He stayed back to study in the library for an upcoming test, Chenle being his study buddy since they’re the only ones in their group who actually values their education. Of course except you-know-who but even he prefers to work alone so Jeno doesn’t really have a choice and besides Chenle teaches him few Chinese phrases he can use when he go to China.

 

Tracing the painting of logos and slogans in the wall with his index finger, Jeno stops when he heard something that sounds like a chair, topple over. He’s only a couple of steps away from the door of the dance room but even then you can hear what’s happening inside through the wall.

 

He saunters over, not passing by the door because it’s glass and see-through. Deciding to just stand beside it, he lowers his head down to peek and his eyes widen.

 

_Jisung and Jaemin._

They were facing each other and the chair that Jeno suspected making the sound is already on the floor, upside down. Jaemin looked fine and okay but Jisung is the complete opposite. He’s fuming. Jeno had never seen him like this before but then again, he hadn’t really seen a lot of Jisung’s other sides, unlike Jaemin – who babies him and treats him like his own – probably knows what he’s like even when he’s jealous.

 

Jealous.

 

Jeno doesn’t know why that ugly feeling is curling in his stomach right now.

“I’m tired, Jaemin.” Jisung finally speaks up after a long silence and Jeno looks at his face. As always, the kid is very hard to read; even Jaemin has a hard time dealing with him sometimes.

 

Speaking of…

 

Jeno slowly turns to give his best friend a glance and though there’s this thick glass separating him from the boy, he can see his glossy eyes with a tear threatening to fall. Jeno wants to stand up straight, open the damn door and hug the other while he rubs comforting circles on his back.

 

Except that he can’t.

 

“I’m tired of seeing you hurt.” The taller said with a much lower voice. Now this is what Jeno knows. Jisung’s suppressing himself from doing something – one that he’ll regret.

 

Jaemin’s lips create a thin line and his hand reaches for Jisung’s arm, pulling him a little bit closer – too close for Jeno’s liking.

 

“Hey, it’s alright.” Jaemin says as he smiles at the taller, “It’s nothing really, I’m fine.”

 

Jeno can see the sincerity and honesty in his best friend’s eyes. He knows him like the back of his hand and he’s sure that Jaemin is just being selfless, _again._

“No, you’re not.” Jisung replies coldly and with full of doubt, removing the other’s hand on his arm rather slowly. Jeno thinks he isn’t mad despite his tone but he can’t put his finger on it though.

 

“You’ve been keeping these feelings for God knows how long and it’s about time for _him_ to know.”

 

The raven gripped the side of the door frame with his knuckles almost turning white, _almost._ His back is aching and if he doesn’t stand up any time soon, he’s going to develop a massive stiff neck that would last for days.

 

If Jeno’s confused not a few minutes ago then he isn’t now.

 

Jaemin is in love and Jisung knows who that person is.

 

Jeno thinks it’s only normal to feel disappointed and hurt, though not the way how Jaemin is hurting but as a best friend, he expected that he’ll be the first one to know who the boy likes (or loves even). Instead it was Jisung, the youngest out of all of them, who probably doesn’t know a shit or two about love. Why would Jaemin go to him?

 

They’ve known each other for a decade already for God’s sake. There isn’t a single secret and detail he doesn’t know about his best friend. They’ve been in the same neighborhood ever since diapers, attend the same school and have always been in the same class. They showered together, dressed in front of each other and even borrow the other’s clothes occasionally.

 

But there’s one thing that bothers Jeno more than anything.

 

The fact that Jaemin watched him got his heart broken for the first time. He witnessed with his own two eyes how Jeno cried for a whole week because of a girl who chose a senior over him. The truth is that he wasn’t pressured to join the basketball team. He wanted to play so bad at that time but the guy his ex was seeing is unfortunately the captain. Jeno isn’t one to hold grudges but he just can’t look at his eyes without seeing the girl he once loved before.

 

Jeno must have looked like an idiot to Jaemin, bawling his eyes out because of a girl that didn’t love him back. Maybe in the inside he was laughing, mocking Jeno for how weak he is. He remembers him bringing food to his room and forcing him to eat. Maybe he felt obligated since Jeno’s mom trusts him so much. Maybe he was pretending all this time, playing angel to look nice and sweet.

 

Yeah, his best friend got the front seat for that, in contrast to him that has to stay behind this wall so he won’t get caught of eavesdropping.

 

Jeno scoffs pretty loudly and the two could’ve heard it but he doesn’t care anymore. He shakes his head before standing up, and although there’s a sharp pain on his back from crouching for too long, he doesn’t bother.

 

He leaves after and so he doesn’t get to hear the soft honey-like voice saying something he should’ve heard.

 

_“I’m fine just being by Jeno’s side.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was already 5pm when Jeno woke up with a slight headache. He had been sleeping all day and even when his mom called him to eat, he stay glued on his bed. Call him childish and immature but he’s really not in the mood to face any of them especially what happened yesterday. All his classes are with Jaemin too and if he sees him right there, sitting prettily like nothing’s wrong then he’ll probably break down into tears.

 

He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the tear stain there that is most likely noticeable if he looks into the mirror. Maybe he’ll check later when he goes to the bathroom since he would really use a shower right now. Smelling himself, Jeno regrets not bathing last night after he came home. He was too caught up in his feelings to even care about changing in night clothes.

 

Sitting up, a stinging pain shoots up that made him scrunch his face into an uncomfortable expression. It appears that he slept in a wrong position or he lied on his back all night and day.

 

He grabs his phone on the nightstand and his eyes squints at the sudden brightness. It’s almost evening and his room was void of light. Opening his messaging app, he saw a few from his friends, taking a special note of Jisung’s.

 

Messages ‖ 1h ago

**Renjun**

Mark’s hosting a party on Saturday  night, you up for it?

 

Messages ‖ 8h ago

**Jisung**

gws bro

 

Messages ‖ 8h ago

**Chenle**

Jeno, I heard you’re sick L Get well soon!

 

Messages ‖ 10h ago

**Renjun**

Your mom told me you’re not feeling well. Just rest for the day, okay?

 

Messages ‖ 10h ago

**Renjun**

I’ll drop by your house, Jeno.

 

As he types a reply to all them, a message pops up in his status bar and his breath got stuck in his throat.

 

Messages ‖ now

**Lovely Jaem <3**

Jeno, I know you’re sick, Injun told me. But is it okay if I come over?

I just want to talk J

 

He contemplates for a while before swiping the message away from display, joining the 20+ “unread” messages from the same person.

 

Jeno lowers his head, looking at his lap and gripping the phone tightly in his hand. There’s an aching sensation in his chest and he wants nothing more than just to rip it out. He wants to feel better and happy. But ever since he started ignoring Jaemin, all he feels is regret and sadness.

 

He wants to cry again. Everything is so confusing.

 

The phone in his hand vibrates and there’s the sudden urge to throw it away. He heaves a sigh as he looks on the screen.

 

An unknown number displayed along with the message.

 

Messages ‖ now

**+82 XX XXXX YYYY**

Jeno? It’s Donghyuck. I don’t want to sound desperate

but are we still going on that date you asked?

 

 

Fuck.

 

To: **Donghyuck**

Yes, of course. I’ll see you there?

 

Not a second after he got a reply.

 

Messages ‖ now

**Donghyuck**

Okay.

 

Jeno hopes this date go well because something in his guts is telling him that he’s risked so much for this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Jeno frowns upon hearing a ruckus from downstairs. He opened his eyes and looks at the clock mounted on the wall across him. It read: 8:30am_

_It’s a Saturday and he wishes to sleep until noon. He stayed up late last night – or rather a few hours earlier because he had to finish an essay and turn it by 6 in the morning. The deadline is just plain mockery, yeah._

_He reaches for the side of his covers and stretched his legs. Thinking it’s his mom dropping a plate or anything glass, he sits up immediately. Her eye sight is just as bad as Jeno’s and she doesn’t wear her glasses often so the possibility of her stepping on the broken pieces is high likely._

_Not wasting any more time, he dashes for the door and ran through the hallway. He skips at the stairs, taking two at a time to get to the kitchen faster. Just as he was about to call his mom, a popping sound broke beside him and he jumps like a frightened cat._

_“Happy Birthday!”_

_He glances up at the large banner hanging at the entry way, strings on both sides and at the middle to keep it upright. Every letter has its own color and little stickers of different type of cats decorate the corners._

_They’re all there. Chenle’s holding the party popper so Jeno guesses he’s the one responsible for that sound and the confetti that has fallen down on the floor, some resting on Jeno’s bed hair. Jisung’s standing not far from him with an annoyed face but somehow forcing a smile still, three balloons that has Jeno’s initials written on it, keeping his hands occupied. Renjun is at the left side, carrying what seems like a party hat with his name on it, and stands beside him is his own mother. She mouths an ‘I love you’ at him and he already feels like crying right then and there. He mouthed the same words back and she smiles contently._

_Finally, at the center stands the most beautiful boy to ever exist on this universe (at least to Jeno that is), holding the most important piece of a birthday celebration._

_The cake is square of medium size and it’s chocolate-flavored, nothing special, really. But what makes him smile is the text inscribed on it:_

_“For the boy with the prettiest eye-smile, Happy 18 th!”_

_He chuckles, his voice still husky from waking up._

_“This is the time you’re going to close your eyes and make a wish, Jeno.” Jaemin stifles a laugh because he doesn’t want his best friend to embarrass himself._

_Jeno makes a face at him and Jaemin returns it back._

_He closes his eyes and smiles, wishing for the same thing every year._

_Happiness._

_As he opens his eyes, another pair greeted him, sparkling wonderfully and excitedly._

_“Happy Birthday, Jeno.” Jaemin greets him with a much quieter voice; joining his words is a hint of love that Jeno failed to notice._

 

 

 

Feeling a vibration in his pocket, Jeno lets out a string of curses. After he woke up late yesterday, he wasn’t able to sleep at all and he ends up watching tons of romance movies. He ends up crying all night as well.

 

Although the café Donghyuck suggested is quite near his neighborhood and just a few blocks away from his house, he still rode his bicycle. This guy – who Jeno doesn’t even know if he still likes – is obviously not the patient type. He’s running behind by 2 minutes now and he’s not going to be surprised if he finds no sign of the tanned boy.

 

When he gets there, Donghyuck is already stationed on the only table at a corner, the one farthest from everybody else. He wonders many times why the boy isolates himself and if he’s at least okay to have company.

 

“Hey,” Jeno says, stepping closer to the other. Despite the cold weather outside, he’s wearing a thin gray graphic shirt that probably welcomes the cool air. He reminds himself to lend his jacket later.

 

Donghyuck looks away from his phone and took his earphones out of his ears. He mused, “Oh, there you are.” He doesn’t give him a smile much to Jeno’s disappointment. “I thought I was getting stood up. I was so ready to punch you in the face on Monday.”

 

Jeno pulls out the chair across from him, sitting down comfortably. “I was the one who asked, why would I stood up on you?”

 

“Thought you changed your mind.” Donghyuck mumbles and Jeno wasn’t able to hear that clearly so he asked, but the latter dismisses it and placed his phone on his back pocket. “Never mind.”

 

Jeno gives him a sheepish smile. “Do you want to order a coffee or something?”

 

Donghyuck shook his head, “I don’t really like the coffee or any drinks here to be honest.”

 

“Why did you suggest this anyway?” Jeno asked with his eyebrows curled.

 

“This is the nearest café in your neighborhood so I thought it’ll be best if we meet here.”

 

Jeno’s confusion grew. “But why? You should have told me, I don’t mind going all the way to yours.”

 

“Yeah, you don’t. But if would take you a whole thirty minutes to get there. Like I said, I don’t like waiting.” Donghyuck brought his hands and rubs them together to create friction. Jeno can see he’s shivering and his clothes suck for the weather.

 

He sighs and stood up, taking off his jacket in the process. He stops just by his side and gently places the clothing on his shoulders. Donghyuck looks slightly taken aback at the sudden weight on him. He stops shivering and held onto the breaking point, letting the warmth of envelope him little by little.

 

He glances up at his kind-hearted date and smiles faintly, “Thank you.”

 

Jeno’s cheeks heat up and it abruptly became too hot in here. “Uh, yeah, you’re welcome.”

 

Donghyuck chuckles inwardly, not wanting to embarrass the boy any further. Examining the café, it seems like they’re the only costumer. It’s actually no wonder. It’s cold and it’s better to have stayed indoors.

 

“Can we go to yours instead?”

 

They walk side by side with Jeno wheeling his bicycle. He wonders what it would be like to have his crush’s arms curled around his waist, like in the dramas he’s watched. But it’s impossible since the road is very slippery after the rain.

There’s only silence throughout the journey and the sound of few cars driving past them keeps their minds occupied. Jeno glances quickly at the boy beside him, looking straight ahead and he questions himself if he’s merely thinking that this whole thing is awkward.

 

Donghyuck breaths out loudly and fog visibly becoming one with the air. “You’re not pretty subtle, Jeno. What is it?”

 

Jeno retracts his head back to face front. “Uh, are you okay? I’m sorry; I’m not much of talker.”

 

“It’s okay, I don’t like noise anyway.”

 

That makes sense actually. Donghyuck always sits at the back, sometimes shrinking into his seat – not the kind of intimidated but seemingly making himself invisible for others to see or so teachers wouldn’t notice him. Jeno never sees him with anyone, always alone and _proud._ Never lonely though and he thinks he could never be like him.

 

“Has anyone told you that you’re a loud thinker? I can hear your thoughts from over here, mister.” Donghyucks laughs and that’s a first for Jeno.

 

He blushes, _again,_ because it’s embarrassing. Renjun always reminds him of that. He thinks so loud that the aliens from outer space can probably hear it.

 

“I’ve been told, many times.”

 

They rounded the corner to the pathway to Jeno’s house when the other hums, “That’s cute.”

He didn’t reply, not knowing what to answer to that comment.

 

Jeno leans his bicycle on the fence and locks it. Due to the oldness of the vehicle and some rusts already forming on the metal, it was a hard task to get the job done.

 

“I’m sorry this took so long.” He smiles and ushers Donghyuck inside their house.

 

When Jeno spots his mother coming out of the kitchen, he introduces Donghyuck briefly before excusing both of them to go upstairs. Her face soundlessly questions him who the guest is since the only person he brings in their house _alone_ is his best friend. Renjun, Jisung nor Chenle visits him individually. They always come in threes, or just Chenle and Jisung, but never alone.

 

As Jeno shuts the door of his room, he turns around to find Donghyuck seated on his bed, his hand roaming and feeling the soft sheets underneath him.

 

“Uh, do you want some hot chocolate?” He asks, tapping his foot nervously. Having his crush inside his room isn’t good.

 

Donghyuck shakes his head and looked around, taking in the details. His eyes moved to the side table where he sees a small picture frame. Two boys about the same height posed next to each other with peace sign, both wearing black costumes.

“Jeno, I want to clear something.” He blurts out and closes his eyes for a moment before opening them to look at the boy standing a meter away from him. “Between us, I mean.”

 

 Jeno nods unsurely at him. “Okay?”

 

Donghyuck fiddles with his fingers and Jeno can see that he’s anxious on what he’s going to say.

“I don’t think we should date.”

 

And there it is. Jeno’s first ever rejection.

 

It turns out Donghyuck isn’t so bad after all after spending time with him. He’s a great company if Jeno’s going to be honest here. He didn’t expect the other to be funny with all the jokes he keeps in store. Jeno’s been laughing for the past hour and he thinks it would be nice if his friends can get to know Donghyuck too and they can all get ice cream together. 

 

“What don’t you have friends though? You’re in the basketball team.” Jeno utters as he tears open a cracker, some falling on the floor from the force.

 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, slapping him on the arm before picking up the snacks that had fallen and ate it like they didn’t just fell on the floor. Jeno makes a gagging noise at that.

 

“Hey, I do have friends. I hang out with Mark-

 

Jeno shoots up at the name, eyes widening like Donghyuck’s. “So, that’s what Renjun was talking about.” He swivels to reach out for his phone somewhere behind him.

 

Donghyuck seem to understand his intention, quickly taking a hold of the phone before Jeno can even reach it. He gasps, “Don’t you dare, Jeno.”

 

“What the fuck?” Jeno tried retrieving it back but the other already had his phone up in the air. “Give me my phone back, you traitor! You’ve been going out with Mark behind my back all this time.”

 

Not lowering his hand even the slightest, Donghyuck continues to set the phone as far as he could and pushing Jeno away from him. “For the record, you and I never happened, so fuck off.”

 

“You fuck off! Release my phone, bitch.” It hasn’t been that long but Jeno’s getting comfortable with him. Maybe Donghyuck’s right; maybe they’re better off as friends.

 

Grabbing all his might, Jeno pushed himself up from his seat and clawed forward, aiming for Donghyuck’s face. The tanned boy laughed before realizing he reached the end of the bed, his hand failing to steady his position. Both of their eyes became wider as they tumble over, eventually falling down onto the floor with a thud. Oh and Jeno landed on top of Donghyuck too.

 

Jeno was so distracted by their proximity that he didn’t notice the creaking of the door, signaling someone opening it. Donghyuck turns his head to the door and sees an unexpected guest. He curses in his mind.

 

Following Donghyuck’s line of sight, every fiber in Jeno’s body trembles as he sees Jaemin standing at his door with glossy eyes and agape mouth. He pushes Donghyuck off him, not too rough but enough for him to get the message.

 

Jaemin quickly wipes a tear that slid down his cheek, turning back around and runs downstairs.

 

Donghyuck remained silent as he watches Jeno sprint to the door.

 

 

 

“Jaemin, open the door!” Jeno shouts as he knocks on the door of his best friend’s room. Jaemin didn’t give him time to explain what actually happened back there in his house but it’s not like he expects him to, because if he’s in that position he’ll probably wouldn’t either.  

 

“Please, Jaem, it’s not what you think.” The bang of his fists starts to become aggressive, as so his emotions. He’s aware of his tears streaming down but he doesn’t care. He needs to talk to Jaemin now and clear things up and made up with him because in all honesty, Jeno’s going to lose his mind if he a day goes by without his best friend by his side.

 

There’s a loud sobbing before something hits the door on the other side. “Leave me alone, Jeno!” Jaemin’s voice is nasally and muffled by the sheets. He represses himself from crying but the tears just won’t stop. It’s hard not to when you see the boy you’re in love with for years, be with another guy, let alone kissing him. It hurts. He wants to erase it from his mind and forget everything he saw but he just can’t. He can’t and that’s what hurts the most.

 

“Jaemin, please, let’s talk this out!” Jeno had now slid down the door, falling on his knees and head hung low, his forehead resting on the hard wood.

 

Few minutes have passed and the cries have died down. Jeno stayed seated like that but he’s just staring off into space. He doesn’t know what’s going inside Jaemin’s room but there’s no sobbing either so he guesses he might have fallen into a sleep from so much crying. His head hurts too from shouting but it can’t be compared to the pain he’s feeling inside.

 

Quiet and gentle footsteps made Jeno look up from the floor.

 

“I know you want to talk to him but give him some time, Jeno.” Jaemin’s mom smiles at him with a pitiful look. He doesn’t want pity from anyone especially from her, but it’s not like he can voice that out. He wants her to be mad at him for hurting her son, for giving him heartaches, but she’s too kind for that. The Na’s are always too nice for their own good.

 

“I’m sure he’ll come around.” She neared him and ruffles his hair before making her way downstairs.

 

Jeno hopes that’s true. He hopes that Jaemin doesn’t shut him out forever or for too long. He might go insane without him. Ever since they met back when they were six, he’s been a sort of life support to Jeno. He’s always been dependent on him for everything he does and the other never once turned him down.

 

Jeno’s annoying in nature but Jaemin is patient, so patient to him that he just smiles when he’s done something wrong. Sure, he had fights with him, either fist fights or verbal argument but Jeno is prideful and he regrets that. Jaemin is always the one coming to him to apologize even though most of the time it was Jeno’s fault.

 

But it’s different this time. Jaemin won’t definitely come to him now.

 

When he got up to leave and walks downstairs, he made sure to apologize to Jaemin’s mother. She shushes him and told him not to beg for her forgiveness but instead Jaemin’s. She gave him advices that could help the both of them to solve their problems.

 

“He has a heart of gold, Jeno and I know you know that by now. I hope you don’t take it for granted next time.”

 

As Jeno returns to his house, his mom informed him that Donghyuck had already left. She tried convincing him to stay for dinner but he seems to be in a hurry and so she lets him go.

 

Maybe he’ll text him later to apologize for the worst date of his life and for wasting time when he could have been in bed on a Saturday.

 

He plops down on his bed and stares at the ceiling, the glow-in-the-dark stars that he and Jaemin had put up when they were ten is barely there. It began to scrape off and he thinks when will they replace that and put up new ones.

 

He’s stupid, so stupid. No doubt Jisung doesn’t like him (that much). Renjun learns how to deal with him. Chenle’s just a baby and Donghyuck most likely sympathizes with him. 

 

When he took his phone out, he’s greeted with a message – one that he should’ve seen earlier.

 

Messages ‖ 46m ago

**Lovely Jaem <3**

Jeno, I know you’re seeing my messages. I’m going to your house right now.

 

He cries.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke lingers in the space of Mark’s house. Being one of the most popular kids in school meant being rich and being rich meant big houses. Jeno could only wish but at least his house feels homey and Mark’s house feels nothing like home. But Mark’s parents are always at work, never having the time to check up on their one and only child. The boy himself is often out with his friends and no one except for the maids is there, so maybe that’s why.

 

As soon as he enters, the owner of the house welcomes him with a chest bump. Though he’s not in the best mood right now, he returns it back with the same intensity. Mark gives him a grin, pushing a red cup into his hand.

 

“I know you’d come!” He shouts over the loud music. They’re at the living room and that’s where the sound system is placed.

 

Jeno’s head aches as the bass gets deafening. He needs to get out of here. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” He yells back with a laugh even though the other won’t hear it. He looks around, searching for the bitch that told him about the party. “Hey, do you know where’s Renjun?”

 

Mark nodded, “The short one, right? Yeah, he’s making out with Lucas!”

 

Jeno chokes on his own spit. Well, he did not expect that. “What? Where are they?”

 

“At the bar I think!”

 

Spotting them almost immediately, Jeno took in the sight before him. Renjun’s back is facing him and the one who he assumes is Lucas, is practically eating his friend’s face off. He walks toward them, grabs Renjun by the hair and drags him away from the tall guy.

Lucas looks dumbfounded, chasing after the other’s lips. Meanwhile, Renjun is squirming and giggling at the same time, he’s consumed too much alcohol anyway. For Jeno’s case that’s good, it’s easier to make him follow.

 

They stop at the kitchen after Jeno grew tired of squishing through the sweaty bodies along the way. The music from the other room tones down and he’s thankful.

 

“Oh look who decided to show up.” Renjun slurs with a weird hand gesture, swaying and eyes unfocused. “You weren’t at school yesterday but you’re here in a party?” He blurts out with a scoff of disbelief.

 

Jeno crosses his arms, “What about it?”

 

The blonde boy gave him a dirty glare. “This is why Jisung hates you, why Donghyuck hates you, why I hate you. I’m getting Chenle to hate you too.” He finishes off with a rather proud face. “But someone can’t seem to hate you though and that’s why I hate you two.”

 

Jeno’s ears perked up at the statement. “Wait what?”

 

“Ugh, forget it.” Renjun shrugs off and waved at him, “He’ll be coming and I’m expecting from you even though you disappointed me a lot of times before.”

 

Then he leaves, not waiting for a response.

 

 

 

Jeno finds himself sitting on one of the stool near the counter an hour later, a good (or bad) amount of red cups empty of the alcoholic beverage. He ends up drinking other people’s drinks when they unconsciously put theirs down on the table to continue their inappropriate acts with a stranger. If four people drops by then it means he gets to drink from four cups. Cool, huh.

 

“Do I like Jaemin?” He asks himself, voice not too loud but not soft either. He’s not in the right mind anymore to think what comes out of his mouth. No one will pay attention to him anyway because everybody else is at the dance floor or the guest’s room (God knows what they’re doing there)

 

Taking a chug from his fifth cup, he points a finger at something (at a wall probably). “You! Do you think I like Jaemin?” When he didn’t get an answer, he threw an empty cup at it. “Damn you, why… why are you not answering?”

 

He wipes off a residue from the side of his mouth. “I’m going to ask you one more time. Do I-

 

“Jeno,” someone calls from a close distance that made him turn his head.

 

Everything’s blurry and the guy standing a meter away from him is not an exception. He can see he’s tall and has brown hair, wearing an oversized striped shirt (or maybe that’s just his illusion) that’s tucked in a baggy jeans.

 

Jeno snorts, “The fuck do you want?”

 

The unknown guy shakes his head as he makes careful strides to Jeno. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

 

“What the fuck?” Jeno said infuriatingly when two hands came in contact of his shoulders. He threshes a little violently but the guy is strong and he’s weak from the alcohol.

 

“You’re drunk.” A reply came lowly.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“Jaemin.”

 

Jeno stops thrashing because even though he’s hella of drunk, he knows that name. His heart beats rapidly, and it feels like his chest is going to explode. Jaemin is so near that his scent hits Jeno in the nose – sweet and calm and rosy.

 

Jaemin appears to be satisfied from the action because he sighs, about to take one of Jeno’s arms to put around his nape.

 

But the other pulls back. “I can walk on my own.” He doesn’t sound cocky or mad, quite flustered actually. He rubs the side of his arm where the other’s hand was a second ago.

 

“Are you sure?” Jaemin asks, eyeing him attentively.

 

Jeno sways a little but he managed to regain his balance.

 

“Let’s just walk slowly, okay? I’ll be here.”

 

I’ll be here.

 

He nods, looking away. “Y-yeah.”

 

Jaemin leads them to the back door where he enters. Jeno wonders how he knows of this when he himself doesn’t, in spite of visiting Mark’s house to celebrate their team’s win in regionals. “There were a lot of people at the main door earlier and nobody goes here anyway.”

 

Jeno can’t help but get curious. He remembers what Jisung said the other day and maybe now it will make sense.

 

_“You’ve been keeping these feelings for God knows how long and it’s about time for him to know.”_

 

“Hey, Jaemin.”

 

“Hey, Jeno.”

 

One word: Idiots.

 

They both halted in their tracks, slowly twisting their necks to look at each other before bursting out into a fit of laughter. They would stop laughing to look at the other just to resume laughing after.

 

When they arrived at the backyard, Jeno is fully sober and they had calmed themselves down. He awes as he sees the freedom pool, running towards it like a child. Jaemin chuckles and watches him as he sits on the edge, letting his legs soak in the surprisingly warm water.

 

“Come here, the water’s warm.” He ushers Jaemin over with a hand, kicking his legs alternately; like I said, a child.

 

“It’s a spa, you know?” Jaemin snickers, sitting beside him.

 

Jeno looks at him. “There’s something I want to ask you.”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Do you like Mark?”

 

The chestnut-haired boy almost slips on his seat if it weren’t for the grip he has on the edge of the pool. He glances at Jeno with amusement. “What?”

 

Jeno shoots his arms up in front his chest, protecting himself. Jaemin looks murderous just now and he’s not risking it. He’s not even sure if they’re okay or if they made up. His best friend is a good actor – can fake everything.

 

“Where the fuck did you get that?” Jaemin jabs him on the shoulder and he snaps him out of his thoughts.

 

“I-I don’t-“ He stutters and Jaemin’s eyes widen in realization.

 

“Shit, did you hear my conversation with Jisung?”

 

“Look, I didn’t mean to.” Jeno began to explain. He’s not going to make the same mistake and he wants to make things right. He knows what these feelings are now. Confess. Jeno’s going to confess and he doesn’t care if Jaemin rejects him. That’s okay. Maybe he’ll dwell on it for a while but he’ll get over it (hopefully).

 

“I was about to go home with Jisung that day but I overheard you two talking and I was curious, you know me-

 

Jaemin nods, “Yeah, I know you, like the back of my hand really.”

 

Jeno side-eyes him, ignoring the comment that made his heart do a somersault, “Anyway, I didn’t mean to snoop-

 

Jaemin squint his eyes at him suspiciously and he groans, “Okay, fine. Maybe I did want to. But it’s not like my intention and honestly, I could care less.” He disregarded the look of hurt in the other’s expression. “But Jaem, I was hurt you know? I’m your best friend but you didn’t tell me anything about you…”

 

“About me…?”

 

“About you being in love with someone…” Jeno’s voice drops to an inaudible volume. If he’s mad before that Jaemin didn’t bother to speak to him about it, then he’s sad now – sad that it’s not him. It’s not him who gets to be the receiver of his love.

 

Fuck. That hurts.

 

Jaemin catches everything and his heart drops to his stomach. Looking at the hand next to him, he put his own on top of it and feels the owner jerk at the touch but didn’t pull away.

 

“Jeno, I want to tell you something.”

 

Jeno turns to him hesitantly, unsure and scared. “Yeah?”

 

Jaemin smiles, the I-have-pearly-white-teeth-you-can-never kind of smile as he intertwines their hands. “I like you- wait, no. I love you.”

 

And that’s how Jeno falls – not for his best friend though (because he’s already done that) but into the warm water, dragging Jaemin with him. They emerged as quick as they fall, their hands still holding onto the other.

 

Jaemin coughs and he feels Jeno pulling him by the waist, arm around him protectively and their bodies pressed together.

 

He wipes his face and laughs, “Jeno, what the hell was that for?”

 

Jeno gazes at him in disbelief. “Are you kidding me, Na Jaemin? Is that for real? You really like me?” his eyes getting bigger for every question.

 

“Yes, Jeno.” Jaemin nods, excitement written in his face. “I love you, so, so much.”

 

Jeno can’t believe what he’s hearing. Jaemin, his best friend who he falls for, loves him back.

 

“Jaemin, I have something to tell you too,” He says, his hand letting go of Jaemin’s to reach and cup his cheek. Jaemin sighs contently, leaning into the warmth of his hand and tilting his head sideways.

 

Jeno is once again captivated at how beautiful Jaemin looks as he glows under the moonlight, his features glistening from the droplets of water.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Jaemin hums, “Not as long as I loved you though.” He knows that’s not true. Jeno may haven’t said it before but he already felt it a long time ago.

 

“I have a whole lifetime to do that.” And he kisses him on the forehead.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey.”

 

Jeno suddenly whips at the voice, hitting the side of his head on the door of his locker.

 

“Gosh, you’re such an idiot.”

 

Shutting his locker closed, he turns to the person beside him, leaning with a smirk.

 

“Uh, hey, Donghyuck.” Jeno says awkwardly. It’s been two days since their “date” and he can’t bring himself to talk to him just yet. It’s embarrassing you know.

 

Donghyuck sighs, “I know what you’re thinking. Forget it, okay? I’m happy you and Na made up and got together.”

 

“And so you heard.” Jeno smiles.

 

Donghyuck nods, “Hard not to, when you’re the talk of the town.” He shifts his eyes to the side when he hears roars of cheers from the students in the hallway. “Oh hey, he’s here.”

 

 

_“Oh my God, is that Na Jaemin?”_

_“When did he dye his hair? It looks good on him!”_

_“He’s so pretty, Lee Jeno is so fucking lucky.”_

 

Turning his head around, he sees the love of his life – the real one – walking down the hallway (that will turn down the aisle in a few years he thinks) with a new appearance that has everyone drooling.

 

Jeno gawks at him and Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Ugh, you’re so whipped.” He says and closes the boy’s mouth. “Close your mouth hun, you’ll catch flies.”

 

“Jeno, hey.” Jaemin stands before him, sporting the hair color that suits him the most, _pink._

 

Pulling his arm gently, Jeno hugs him and inhales his scent, still the same rosy cologne.

 

Jaemin pulls back after a while and Jeno extends his hand to caress his soft hair. “What made you change back to pink? It has been months.”

 

“Because,” Jaemin took his hand and holds it as he speaks, “The moment you fell in love with me was the time I had this hair. And I want to remind you that.”

 

Jeno blushes furiously and Donghyuck sneers beside him. Seems like that didn’t go unnoticed; he thought Jaemin sees it as him being his usual self.

 

“You know you don’t have to, right? I’ll love you just the same.”

 

Jaemin’s heart cries.

 

“I do, but everyone loves it, right?” There comes a loud reply of ‘Yes’ from the people in the hallway.

 

Donghyuck nods, “Now Jeno, keep an eye on him or I’ll steal him from you.”

 

 

Before Jeno can think of something to say, the tanned boy turns around and bid him goodbye with a wave.

 

“Hey, Donghyuck! What does that mean!” Jeno throws him a crumpled paper he got from his locker earlier. “Don’t you dare steal Jaemin from me or I’ll cut your head off!”

 

It still feels weird hearing that despite the two of them being the talk since morning. The most admired best friends in the school are now declared as the most admired couple; and it hasn’t been a day.

 

He hopes they survive without being mobbed – well at least his boyfriend, who gained a lot of attention and admirers. It irks him, really.

 

“Hey, bitch.”

 

Renjun smacks him in his head and Jeno raised a fist, ready to throw his hand at him. Jaemin stops him although he knows he wouldn’t really do it.

 

“It’s nice to see you two together.” Renjun gives an approving smile.

 

Chenle bobs his head happily at them, “And not avoiding each other. You two were headaches.”

 

They all laughed but Jisung and Jeno notices him being quiet. “Hey, brat.”

 

“Jeno.” Jaemin pinches him on the side and faces the younger instead. “Jisung, are you happy now?”

 

Crossing his arms as he looks at their linked hands, he sighs. “Perhaps.”

 

Jaemin raises one eyebrow.

 

“Okay, even though I hate Jeno, I’m happy for you, Jaemin.”

 

Two eyebrows.

 

“Fine. I love you both and I’m tumbling in joy.” He says with a poker face.

 

They all looked contented as they walk to the gates.

 

Renjun chirps in, “Hey, I was wondering if we could go to a café to celebrate, since you know, you two are boyfriends now.”

 

Jaemin chuckles and Jeno scrunches his face in annoyance. “Is that really necessary?”

 

“Of course,” Renjun stops and gives him a teasing look. “Also, to celebrate you not being an idiot anymore.”

 

“Hey!” Jeno frowns more; attempting to kick Renjun’s ass but Jaemin pulls him back.

 

The pink-haired boy smiles as he slies his hand down Jeno’s arms before landing on his open palm and intertwining their fingers.

 

“Are you really over Donghyuck?” Jaemin asked, looking beside him.

 

Jeno sighs, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand reassuringly, “How many times do I have to tell you, Jaem? I didn’t like him. I thought I do but I realized I don’t.”

 

“And why is that?”

 

Jeno halts from his tracks, making Jaemin stop as well. He stares at his beautiful eyes and Jeno thinks no man is happier than him in this moment.

 

“Because I realized, a very long time ago, that you’re the one I’m truly in love with.”

 

 

_New Year’s Eve has come and Jeno’s eyes lit in excitement as he listens to the fire crackers going off. Dropping his toys on the floor, he goes out of his room and skips down the stairs, seeing his mother setting the table._

_He runs toward her, giving her a hug. “Mom, can I go outside?”_

_She crouches down and caresses his hair as she smiles, “Of course. But be careful, okay? Don’t wander off too far.”_

_“Alright!”_

_As little Jeno got outside their house, he immediately looked up and awes at the view. These things and surprises always intrigue him. The design of the fire crackers are different and get amazing every year._

_He takes a glance over the fence at the house beside him. There he sees a familiar small figure looking at the sky as well._

_Jeno shouts, waving his hand for the other to notice. “Jaemin, hey! Come over here.”_

 

_The other turns his head at the voice and grins widely, “Jeno!” With his short legs in red pajamas, he made his way over._

_“Let’s watch the fireworks together, shall we?” Jaemin says as he stood in front of him._

_He just looks at his best friend – four years now ever since they met and he’s still as pretty as Jeno first saw him, hands covered in mud from playing too much, though that didn’t made his beauty lessen._

_The galaxies build up in Jaemin’s eyes and he’s captivated and trapped once again._

_“Jeno?” Jaemin giggles at his face. He must have overly stared at him longer than usual but Jaemin still finds it adorable just as much as his crescent eyes._

_“Are you still with me?”_

_Jeno plasters the smile he had always reserved for Jaemin, and Jaemin only._

_“I’ll always be with you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this, follow my twitter au acc to stay updated for more~  
> it's @asterjenjaem :)


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